Cold as a Witch's Tit

I have always found that expression, "Cold as a witch's tit" crude but I just gotta say, it's as cold as a witch's tit out there! I haven't been able to ride at all the past few days. Gusting winds have made for a wicked wicked wind-chill. Sitting in my house, (warm and snug and looking out at the sunshine) I become determined that I will suck it up... then I drive to the prairie and the wind tries to blow me off the road and I step out of the car and my eyeballs feel like they are going to turn to ice and I realize that there is no sucking it up.  So I feed the ponies some extra hay and go home to take a bath. It isn't all bad when the awesome force of mother natures forces us to slow down and take a long deep breath.