The topic of girl friends (friends who are girls) is as broad ranging of a subject as any known to man- the dymanic between a woman and her closest friend is often as, or more, complicated than your average marriage. I wouldnt dare try to speak generally about a topic as close to my heart or as deeply routed in our female psychee as this and so I'll be breaking this up into a series of posts I'll call "Girl Friend Talk".
I was inspired to write this series of posts because I have a very, very dear friend Barb, who I usually talk to every day, sometimes more.... She is the kind of friend who knows me better than I know myself, the kind that offers unquestionable support and a swift kick in the ass when needed....the one I know I can trust with every secret, insecurity and heartache. She is my go-to-gal and confidant- the Thelma to my Louise.
The past few weeks we havent been able to chat as much as usual as we've both been unusually busy. That little missing piece of my day is an unwelcome hole, an absense that makes me realize just how much joy our daily chatter brought to my life. I am sure that things will go back to normal soon but I couldn't help but worry this evening, as another day passed without our usual chat, that there may come a time where we will naturally drift apart- A change of schedule, a big move or perhaps a new friend to takes over that role of prominence in her life. Sometimes one friend drifts away before the other is willing to let go and jealousy, hurt feelings and bitterness can result. I've had that happen a time or two. I think I've always been more insecure in my friendships than I have have been with men and relationships. I've lost a few girl friends over the years, which is never easy for anyone but particularly difficult when, by nature, one is as fiercely loyal as I am. I trust in the strength of Barb and I's friendship, that I will always be blessed enough to count her as one of my closest friends and ally. I write this by way of example, to show that even a friendship as time, tested and true as ours is not immune to the oversensitive, insecure, dynamic and diverse layers that make up a friendship between two women.
And I know she'll kill me for posting this...but I will anyways! I can just hear her voice callin' me up to say, "Are you crazy! I call you all the damn time but you're never home!" and then I'll say, "I called you twice yesterday!" and then she'll counter with "Whatever! I called you three times the day before!" and it will go on from there...
Lets start by gaining a consensus-
Do you have a girl friend whom you consider your "best friend"?
Do you have one girl friend who you see or talk too most often? If so, how often do you speak to her or see her?
I've always disliked the term "best friend" because it is so exclusive... it is the kind of word that as an insecure girl I learned to dread as the cliquey, catty, groups in school perpetually dumping one and other (or me) for their next "best friend"...
...and I think anyone I love has an inherent value that is both without measure or class.
Next post in this series will be about friendships that have gone awry- titled, "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do".