Drawring....

That "Drawring" is suppose to be "Drawing" (like making pictures out of pencil on paper) but for some reason, when I think of getting back to drawing, I hear the word "drawring" in my head. I just thought you'll would like to know that.

Over the past year or so I haven't been blogging much as I've been working with my Momma (she hates being called that... didnt like "mommy" either... it was always "Mom" pronounced "Mum"... for long time I called her "Mare" but she hated that as much as Momma) But back to drawring. Which is pronounced "drawer-ring", not "draw ring" like "draw reins". I have been working with my Mom doing interior design and assisting her in her kitchen and bath design business. My Mother Dearest (another thing I often call her) is a very talented designer and while I've been following her around at work for as long as I can remember I never wanted to take it up as a profession. Then I decided I like making my own money. So I gave it a shot. (this making my own money is new to me as I've been supported by a very generous boyfriend for over ten years and for a while the novelty of spending my own money was really fun and exciting but I've now come full circle and realized that spending his money is infinitely better. Just kidding. (not really), no really. I dont know.) I LOVE working with my Mom. She is freakin' awesome. She hates when I use the work "freaking" so I used it there just to bug her because that's what I do best. I compliment her and find a way to irritate her at the same time. It's an art I mastered long ago. I think she loves me for it. *pauses here to think on it*... I am sure she loves me for it... *makes doubtful face*

Anyways, the long and the short of it (this is another expression that DB and I get made fun of for frequently using as we like to tell long and detailed stories and then right before we finally come to our conclusion we say "so the long and the short of it is...") that while I love working with my Mom, and I really enjoy our clients and while the work can be a lot of fun I really don't want to be a designer. The number one reason- I want my profession to be one where 2+2=4 (design is subjective, 2+2= whatever the client thinks) and I want my work day to end at some point. A project is "on" 24/7, from the day it starts till the day it finishes and sometimes not even then as problems can come up weeks, months and even years later. I'm a worry wort by nature. A nervous type. My Mom hasn't gone on a vacation in 20 years without being stressed about leaving behind some client or another. Last year, when we were in Europe, a problem came up in an order and she had to spend hours and hours on the computer (a fortune in Internet time) and had many sleepless nights worrying and working until that problem was solved. And even once it was solved she was holding her breath that nothing else would come up. I dont think I have the constitution to deal with this type of work.

I know that EVERY job comes with its own stresses, positives and negatives. The design business is a great profession for those with the right attitude. I am going to keep working with my Mom as an assistant. I really enjoy keeping her business organized. It is a constant challenge. Just kidding! Not really. Really. I dont know.

So what about drawring (is that getting annoying yet?!? :) I am thinking I might start try to finish a couple large pieces of art. Graphite on paper drawings of a western theme. If I can get ten finished I will have prints made and try my hand at selling them. I'm trying to ignore the voice in my head that keeps telling me that there is no market, no money, no chance I'll ever actually make enough money to buy a new pair of boots let alone pay bills. But then I realized that I'm pretty damn good at ignoring the voice in my head that tells me not to buy/eat that chocolate bar, and the one that tells me I need to get out for a walk, and the one that tells me I should clean my house etc. etc. etc.... If I can ignore those voices of reason, why cant I also ignore the one that tells me I cant become an artist? Why the hell not? Right? I think. I dont know.