Sunday, January 25, 2015


Schooooools innnnnn for WIN-TA *sung to the tune of "Schools out for Summer" Yah! Schoooooools innnnn for WIN-TER!

Poor Hola. Someday she is going to get a real job and boy oh boy, will that ever be a slap of cruel reality.

On Tuesday I cut a piece of tarp from the bottom of a big grain tote and sewed it on to a dressage whip with baling twine. When I picked it up and gave it a shake the white flap of textile crinkled, crackled and twitched to life in my hand. In that moment, "MONSTER" was born. (MONSTER is fuckin' frightening his name can only by written in cap locks!!!)

On Wednesday Hola met MONSTER for the first time. The rest of the horses on the farm also got an eye full of the flapping, crackling, crinkling, waggling MONSTER and did their best River Dance impersonations at the far side of the field while carefully keeping both eyes on the offending flapper and shamelessly abandoning Hola to her sad but inevitable fate. Bastards.

On Thursday Monster made another appearance. This time Hola's friends quickly decided that they were safe enough at the far side of the fence and settled in for some afternoon entertainment. After twenty minutes of having MONSTER flap about like some demented pigeon Hola decided that animated bit of fabric may not, in fact, be attempting murder upon her person. Thus MONSTER became Monster. With this revelations the show became much less entertaining and the Peanut Gallery dispersed which allowed Miss Hola to focus on the task at hand. By the end of session two monster had impressed Hola with the notion that if she stands still and/or walks forward calmly, the flapping, waggling, crinkling monstrosity of a tarp will also become quiet. She looked at me as if to say, "Its like, magic! If I stop, it stops!"

On Saturday monster and Hola came to a truce of sorts. She allowed him to ride her back, touch her legs, and even (briefly) wiggle along her tummy. Like a shy young woman on a date with an aggressively persistent and overly feely man, Hola submitted unhappily to the contact. Tomorrow morning Hola will once again come up against monster but I believe that their relationship may have come to a timely end by Monday. Once Hola's fear has been overcome I will create a new Frankenstein to rouse the rebel in my sweet filly. Just call me Victor!

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