Monday, January 9, 2012

Ride Like a Man

Between the weather and the madness of the holiday season I haven't been able to ride much this past month. I am hoping that this week I can get back in the saddle and spend some quality time getting Ella (and me) back in to shape. Over the couple months I am going to be working on cleaning up and fine tuning the basics of the foundation we worked so hard to establish last year. Ella has a great stop, she guides well, she is light in the face, I can move her shoulder and hips around, and her transitions are smooth. She has buttons. The problem is Ella has a habit of dogging it, or rather, I've created an environment where she lacks motivation, enthusiasm and try. Picture a child being asked to clean his room- he protests a little but eventually sloughs down the hall, dragging his feet, his hands hanging limply at his sides, a pout on his face and murmured "I dont want to" on his lips. That's Ella right now when I ask her to roll back, bored and uninterested. I think the reason for this is two fold. First, because I haven't given her a job. More than ever I believe a horse needs a job they understand to be happy. A happy horse will do what we ask with try, heart and enthusiasm. Secondly, because I don't ride her like a man.

No offense ladies, but we nag. We say "Don't do that!" ... and when they don't stop we get annoyed and it becomes "I saaaaid DON'T do that!" ... and of course that doesnt work so we go, *yank jerk* "OMG will you stop f-in flippin' flappin' doing that for finangians sake!!" (or something like that). And then finally, after getting more and more frustrated we go *smack* .... and they are like "Ooooh! Why didnt you just say so?".... To make matters worse the next task becomes a fight because we're still pissed off and royally annoyed about what they were doing before. It's a vicious cycle.

Men (okay not all men but hypothetical "men") dont do that. They say... nothing... they just go *slap slap* and merrily on their way. I haven't resolved to slap my horse more. I've just resolved to not bitch and nag. I'm only going to ask once. Then I'm going to make it happen. And then I'm going to calmly and happily move on to the next task like nothing happened. I'm going to ride like a man. Not the type of man who gets mad or mean or overly aggressive. I'm talking about the proverbial man's man, the quiet soft spoken horseman that quietly and unassumingly gets the job done with a firm but kind hand... that dark haired, cool, confident man that knows how to handle horses and woman in kind... the type that will grab a naughty woman hard by the shoulders and crush her to his chest, who kisses her hungrily... his course stubble rough against her velvet lips... he knows what to do... slips a hand behind her neck, knots her hair in to his fist and twists, thrusting her backwards to expose the pale skin of a long and delicate neck. He nips her, gently at first, teeth skimming her collar bone... then harder as he works his way up to the curls behind her ear. His hot breath licks flames beneath her skin. Her flush rises. In to her ear his voice growls his demand, so deep and husky with want...



I dont know what just happened.



  1. What...



    I was reading along, nodding in agreement...formulating an intelligent and agreeable response..

    Then my eyes focused on the brows crunch together as I struggle to comprehend where the conversation took a turn...and then my jaw dropped.

    If it makes you feel any better, my word verification is 'grunts'...


    Naww...let's just leave that one alone...


  2. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I'm impressed! Thank you and best of luck. Patek Philippe Nautilus Swiss

  3. OMG - I just about spewed out my breakfast drink! I'm merrily reading and then I think *whoa*. And then I laugh beg belly laughs, and tears come to the corners of my eyes.

    Holy girl - write a book!!

  4. haha, goooood morning, indeed!

    anyway, I tend to ride very assertively (like the proverbial man)- I can be the iron fist or the velvet glove.... but certain horses, stereotypically mares, can take offense when you tell them what to do; so you do have to be assertive, but some horses want you to make them feel they have a say in the decision-making.

    You should consider going to a local show for a little excitement- or, have a friend bring his/ her horse over and you guys switch horses for part of your ride.


  5. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    You just made my morning. :)

  6. .....and then what happens? LOL

  7. lmao!! you never cease to make me laugh my ass off!

    I must agree with your 'ride like a man' scenario however. I found once I changed my ride accordingly a whole new world of opportunity opened up for me. And as such I have been able to teach my students to stop 'picking' on their horses, and make it happen! If you are going to do anything, make it mean something. We all too often get stuck in that 'grey area'. Things need to be black and white. Our horses will appreciate us more for it.

    Always love reading your blog entries!

  8. If you are needing funds to keep that pretty little sounds like you could do some writing in the romance departmennt....I'm thinkin there are some desperate women and or? out there that just lost control:)....hahaha too funny...but seriously you could make some loot.

  9. Hahaha!! I love this!!! Not only is that man a picture of every girls dream, it's also actually very true about riding like one! You will notice all good trainers ask for something once, and often get it, because the horse has the respect. If they have to ask for it twice oh boy the horse is in trouble and there is never a third time!