My sister sent me this in an e-mail today... it is supposedly an ad posted on the dating or "relationship" site "Plenty of Fish"...
Would you date him?
-"I'm looking for a divorced woman whose ex-husband left all of his power tools behind. I'm partial to power saws and nail guns. Technician tools will also be considered. Also interested in old classic cars still in your garage. Chev owners get an automatic response.
Did you click on 'next' yet?
Ok, so what time are you picking me up?
Yes, I have a dog. No, she doesn't own me. She just seems to pop up everywhere.
Why is there so much hate for Barbie? I read so many profiles saying "I aint no Barbie doll, so if that's what you want...move along"
WTF would I want to date a 12" plastic doll with horse hair? I guess I should mention that I'm neither G.I Joe nor Stretch Armstrong.
As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
If you read this far, hopefully you realize my profile is as misleading as the dude telling you he likes long walks on the beach at sunset. I'll write a serious one someday when I can come up with the right words to wanting someone normal and honest.
Go somewhere quiet where other people are enjoying a quiet evening out. Then you can get hammered on draft beer and dig into the spinach dip with your bare hands, wipe it all over your shirt and then knock the bowl on the floor. Once you've yelled at the waitress and almost fallen on your ass because you can't stand up, we can get the whole bar staring at us because you're the loudest person there..Oh, and then don't forget to throw the bill at me so you can go outside and puke on yourself.
~Wait a second, I already did that. Let's do something else. "