Saturday, October 24, 2009

Would you date him?

My sister sent me this in an e-mail today... it is supposedly an ad posted on the dating or "relationship" site "Plenty of Fish"...

Would you date him?


-"I'm looking for a divorced woman whose ex-husband left all of his power tools behind. I'm partial to power saws and nail guns. Technician tools will also be considered. Also interested in old classic cars still in your garage. Chev owners get an automatic response.

Did you click on 'next' yet?


Ok, so what time are you picking me up?

I kid.

Yes, I have a dog. No, she doesn't own me. She just seems to pop up everywhere.

Why is there so much hate for Barbie? I read so many profiles saying "I aint no Barbie doll, so if that's what you want...move along"
WTF would I want to date a 12" plastic doll with horse hair? I guess I should mention that I'm neither G.I Joe nor Stretch Armstrong.

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

If you read this far, hopefully you realize my profile is as misleading as the dude telling you he likes long walks on the beach at sunset. I'll write a serious one someday when I can come up with the right words to wanting someone normal and honest.

First Date
Go somewhere quiet where other people are enjoying a quiet evening out. Then you can get hammered on draft beer and dig into the spinach dip with your bare hands, wipe it all over your shirt and then knock the bowl on the floor. Once you've yelled at the waitress and almost fallen on your ass because you can't stand up, we can get the whole bar staring at us because you're the loudest person there..Oh, and then don't forget to throw the bill at me so you can go outside and puke on yourself.

~Wait a second, I already did that. Let's do something else. "


  1. Alright...I read his add twice. I like the synical (is that spelled right?) humor in it...I really do. So if I were single and looking on the computer for a date, I'd respond to his add. At least I know he has the ability to make fun of life and amuse me even if only for a brief amount of time!

  2. While it's funny, he comes accross as a wee bit too bitter for me.

    So, have you fallen to the Kijiji dark side yet?

  3. as odd as this sounds, I think I'd actually respond to this ad! Sounds like he's just looking for someone who is laid back and real!

  4. One of Mr. Fry's best qualities is that he can always make me laugh. I like the cynical humor. Reminds me of my own sense of humor.

  5. Ohhh-he's funny. I think if I was looking I might just have to answer his ad to see if he really is that witty.

    All I can say is after hearing about the new admin's "date" this weekend...I am soooooo glad I am not on the dating scene anymore. The dude got wasted and disappeared. She is very smart though and insisted that he give her his p/u keys-so at least she had a guaranteed ride back to her vehicle. And then he calls her the next morning and is like "I'm sorry, did I ruin it?" She said she went "uuhhhh yea"! Too stinking funny.

  6. Teeheehee!!!! Hey there chicka!!! I miss you too!!! I have been meaning to stop by and catch up, but that never seems to happen. I hope that you are over your bout with H1N1, and not having any more trouble with your lungs?

    I still peruse that horse ads and ride as much as I can, and I can't wait until the day I am done with school and able to retire old Bo. :)

    Take care, okay???? And send me a line anytime, as I am more likely to respond to an email than my blog right now. :)

  7. Oh sure...makes me wanna run right out and place an ad.

  8. Well, he's definitely witty...unless it's that ha ha i'm joking but not really kinda thing. =)