Die a Thousand Deaths

Eghr! (the sound you make when you are really frustrated!) Oh how I have missed blogging! There is just too much I want to tell you all!... that is, if there still is a "you all"...

Hello?

*echo*

*considers likelihood that anyone has or ever will care about this here blog*

*shrugs*

Let's be honest, I've been talking to myself all along.... so why stop now?

So, been riding lots lately! And looooovin' it! And I've been able to ride with, like, other people! *gasp* I know, right? This afternoon I went with a new girl at the barn, Thursday I went with a couple girl friends, and Friday I went with L. (who I board off of)... in other words I've ridden with more people this week alone than I did in the entire year previously. I almost died on the ride on Thursday thanks to a certain someones (you know who you are! *evil glare*) but that is a story for another day. On Friday the ride went well right up until some very helpful people decided, rather than stand to the side of the trail and keep their dogs on a short leash, it would be a great idea to tuck themselves in to the bushes beside the trail, crouch down and be really quiet.... in other words to do their best 'big bad bear ready to spring out of the bushes and eat a horse' impression. Needless to say Princess was keeping one eye on the bushes during our ride the next day and even had a minor heart attack when the man walking on the trail in front of us stooped to tie his shoe lace. She has a memory like an elephant, my mare does! But to be fair I should say that we've now walked through that super scary gap in the fence six times without incident! *knock on wood* I love my pony:)

You know what I dont love? My saddle. My english saddle. Now, that is not to say that I dont enjoy riding English because if anything I've come to enjoy it even more and would love to continue with my English lessons in the future... but... And this is a BIG 'but' (Oh! A pun! big but/big butt) I am having a hell of a time with hauling my big butt up in to that english saddle! (I also have a hell of a time not overusing explanation marks! But we'll talk about that some other time!) The problem is two fold. First, my ass- it's big. My legs, they're short. My dexterity, is lacking. Refer to "Mounting: A failure to launch story" for more on the above. The second problem is that my horse is exceptionally round and lacking for anything that vaguely resembles a wither. Combine the above two issues with a cotton saddle blanket and you'll start to get the idea of where I might have a problem. Well, this afternoon that problem went from inconvenient to all out humiliating. S. (the new girl) and I walked our horses in hand to the trail head. S. mounts effortlessly, of course. Her horse stands still, of course. I walk my pony over to a log. I attempt to position her so that she is standing beside the log. Five minutes pass. I apologize to S. Princess finally stands still. I attempt to mount. Princess steps away from the log. The *insert expletives* saddle ends up around her armpit. I reposition the saddle. Climb back on my log. Fall off of my log. Apologize to the waiting S. who is no doubt wondering how she got sucked in to riding with a loser like me. I curse the log, my saddle, my horse, my life. Try again. Five minutes pass as I try to get Princess positioned to the log correctly. I try to mount again. I overcompensate. Princess starts steps away just as I step up. I fall forward over her wither. By the grace of god I stay on. I wish I could just die a thousand deaths and go home. Instead I swallow what little is left of my pride and carry on with the ride as if nothing happened.

The solution is that I need to loose weight, do yoga to get stronger, get a new saddle pad and girth (or a western) and go out when I have time to practice without an audience to make me nervous. But even so there is a high likelihood I will still struggle to mount Princess in an English saddle.

Or instead I could just go a head and die a thousand deaths. Yup... I think that'd be easier.