Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Andrea the computer-human-wannabe

(Picture that tries to evoke an inner zen-like-peace!)

Yesterday afternoon I was on hold with my cell phone provider.

Despite my best effort, I wasn't actually able to speak to a human being.

Wanna know what pisses me off even more than a ten minute wait time and disinterested service (*snort*) provider?


Andrea, the computer human wanna-be.

Andrea says: "Hi! My name is Andrea. I'll be helping you today. Can I start by getting your birth date?"

And I say, "No, your name is NOT Andrea because you're a computer!" (And then I say my birth date.)

Andrea: "I'm sorry but I didn't hear that. Please try again."

: "Shocking! And here I thought inanimate objects couldn't "hear" at all!" (hits zero repeatedly)

Andrea: "Would you like to hear the options again?"

: "OPERATOR!!" (now gripping the cell with white knuckles.)

Andrea: "It seems I'm having trouble understanding you. Let's start over. Can I begin with your birth date?"

: "Understanding me? Understanding me! You're not an f-ing human, Andrea! Get over it! And let me speak to a freakin OPERATOR!" (Blood pressure spikes)

Andrea: "I'm sorry I'm having trouble understanding you. Let's start over. Can I begin with your birth date?"

: (now trying to be polite... as if this makes a difference to an inanimate computer program.) "Can I PLEASE speak to an OPERATOR!!!"

Andrea: "You're password has been reset. Can I help you with anything else today?"

: (bangs head repeatedly on counter) "Bloody &*#ing &$^#n&^ucker computer-animated-human-wannabe-*#$%

Andrea: "Thank you for calling."

(train running over river.)


  1. I feel your pain.

    In business school we learned that "touch tone service operators are a great way to reduce costs and service customers"

    Clearly these business people have never been on the consumer end of the line. People might cost more, but you'll get your money's worth in happier customers!

  2. Duuuuude....TOTALLY feel your pain! So. Effing. Annoying!!! They probably figure they will make money on people needing to buy new phones after throwing them from the frustration of dealing with "Andrea". lol Bastards.

  3. Lol. Yeah, I told "Emily" where to go a time or two.

  4. Bwahaahaaahaaaa...Rolling On The Freaking Floor.

    I have so been there...done that.

    Airline tickets anyone??? Arrggghhhhhhh!!!

    Word Verification word....


    How aprapo...pretty sure that is not how it is spelled, but you get the idea-LOL

  5. I'm pretty sure this pain belongs to all of us! I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sick of artificial customer service.