Yup, I said "peeing in the bush".
If you've read this blog for any length of time you'll have learned by now that I make no bones about certain rather embarrassing issues. I've not shied away from those scandalous topics like vampire porn, smut novels, BJs (oh yes I did!), shaving, bras and physic bladders. So I'm just going to throw out another little doozy for you....
I like to pee in the bush.
Wow! It feels kinda liberating to just say it out loud like that.
The men in my family have a long history of perfectly respectable urination in open air venues.... a car door and a convenient bush provided, in my man folk's opinion, acceptable urinals of natures making. While we girls and women attempted to be remain modest and ladylike by waiting for proper facilities, we did spend sufficient time in the backwoods, be it camping or driving logging roads, that peeing in the bush was a simple fact of life. As cumbersome as the act may be and no matter how precarious a situation I may have found myself a time or two somewhere along the way I developed a certain fondness for the practise... I began to find it oddly liberating... the feel of cool air on the nether regions... the adventure of finding that secret place.... the hit of adrenaline when you first pull the drawers... the animalistic quality of marking the land, the feral and holistic natu-....I've gone to far havent I?
Why should I feel shame for something so natural? I mean... do you think maybe it is because even way back in history we never accepted little female cherubs squatting over fountains like their pudgy little boy counterparts? Ah-ha! You see, it's a little awkward for me to say that right? Right! But really, if you think about it, what kind of double standard is that? Is it not yet another example of male propagating the notion that females should be ashamed of natural bodily functions like flatulents and burping and well, other things... while they get to unabashedly revel in the glorify their primitive urges? *gasps for air*
Okay, I dont want to give you the wrong impression or anything....I dont make a habit of peeing in the woods! Actually, years have passed where I havent had the opportunity but this past month HS and I have been spending a lot of out in the woods and as a result I've become reacquainted with the satisfying and oddly enjoyable experience... and as I feel it's my job to keep it real here at AOAHCM, I thought I might share this odd little tidbit in hopes of liberating other like minded women of their shame and self denial by saying out loud (and proud) that I, Chelsi Depp-Pitt like to pee in the bush.