I really don't know where to begin. There is so much I want to share about everything I've been doing these past few days, from interior designing with my amazingly talented mother to riding, cooking, saddles, dogs, cats... property purchases and even my friends new horse... and so much more. But ultimately it is not the details of the day that compel me to write this post... it is the emotion... Not to get all "Its a Wonderful Life" on you or anything but I just want to say that I am spectacularly happy. "Spectacularly?!"... Yes, I said spectacularly. I have an amazing friends and family, a boyfriend I absolutely adore (he is just so totally charming) and to top that off I have a horse I really enjoy, a barn I love to go to and pets that make my heart smile. And yes, I just said they make "my heart smile". What can I say... I'm happy. It is hard for me to not find that scary... to not brace myself for the inevitable all but I'm going to try to savor these moments and let tomorrow worry about itself.
Yesterday I tried to write about some of the highlights of my day but I found that I had no patience or desire to explain the particulars... I didnt want to say "HS brought me a green tea latte to the barn and I was so cold and it tasted so good...." I wanted to express the way my heart swelled when I saw his car pull up the drive, how in love I was with him when he handed me that drink and I saw my happiness reflected in his eyes and in his smile. I didnt want to write about the mudane details... like that I was able to take P out on my first ride with another horse (and friend) and how I was able to help that friend school her mare through some issues... Instead I wrote this:
“The sun was shining but the wind was blowing fierce and cold. There is a magic in riding on a day like today… the warmth of the sun on my back all the more welcome for the sharp contrast it sets against the harsh bite of cold on my cheeks. The air itself feels somehow dead and barren while the horse beneath me is so vital and alive... each stride rhythmic, an ebb and flow of energy, vitality and vigour. I love how the grasses lay flat and the birds seem to fly in slow motion as they beat their way upwind. There exists nothing but the ride- the effort of creating impulsion and directing her movement into a form that is fluid and graceful, contained and controlled yet free. I walked back to the barn satisfied. Deeply. Spiritually. Satisfied.”
"...there is also something wonderful about being able share a ride with a fellow horse lover- to revel in a mutual passion, to ride through the long lines of corn stocks and last rays of daylight and talk of all those things that women talk about- memories unravelled, secrets let loose and frustrations let fly."
"As I drove away from the barn, knowing that horses were tucked up safe and snug, I phoned my HS and told him how thankful I am for this day… for him, for my horse, for my Mom, dog, for new friends and old and all the blessings in my life. Then I asked him what he wanted for supper. I came home and cooked pork chops with apple sauce and scalloped potatoes. When I set that plate of food before him my heart swelled and when he told me it was the best he ever- as he always does- I thought I couldnt love him more. And then he did the dishes and I found it was possible afterall. I love this day. "
I am thankful for happy days. ... As in days that I am happy... not the Fonzie kind.... That was before my time.