This week I've been thinking a lot about this second anniversary of Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind. I've thought about how this blog has evolved and changed since I first began and how many wonderful people I've met along the way. Back in July of 2008 I had two horses that were apart of my daily life, one here at home, one in reining training.... both of which provided me with plenty of food for fodder for a horsey blog. But by the first week of 2009 I was horseless, for lack of better words, and have been since. I didn't plan it that way. Trust me. The best laid plans of mice and (wo)men....
Not having a horse at home didnt slow down the Horse Crazed aspect of this Horse Crazed Mind and so this blog hasnt completely given up on it's intended topic. Nonetheless, over the past year and half I've steadily broken the golden rule of blogging- I been writing a horse blog that very often has absolutely nothing to do with horses. It's only consistency has been a lack of consistency. AOAHCM is a mish-mash of topics....a sometimes diary, occasional confessional and a venue for the rare rant (or two) with some photos, opinion pieces and a few jokes thrown in for good measure. I've done basically everything they tell you not to do in order to make a blog "work". I didnt care because it worked for me and I loved it.
But at some point along the way I subconsciously stopped just writing whatever-the-hell I felt like and started trying to make this blog in to something that "you" would want to read and curtailed what I wanted to write about if I felt it wouldnt be of interest to others. My passion for blogging began to steady decline as I became increasingly caught up in being a part of the social underworld of bloggerdome *smile* and the expectation of being not just a blogger but a "blogger buddy".
At the beginning I didnt "get" that to blog was to be apart of a social network. But that was also back when I didnt "get" why anyone would want to read what some stranger did in their day. I didnt see that having blogger buddies meant that there was always someone willing and ready to offer their advice, support or just to commiserate. It took me a while to grasp how much we could all learn from each other and how wonderful it could be to be apart of a community filled with amazing people and knowledgeable fellow horseman and horse lovers. I didnt get that. Then I got it and I loved it. Now I value it (and you) but I feel like I cant blog without being a part of it. It now feels selfish (and a little evil) to blog without "giving back". And I feel like a total ass saying that I dont really want to read blogs anymore. I sincerely care that each and everyone of the people I've met along the way is safe, healthy, happy and that your loved ones, furry or otherwise, are healthy, happy and safe. I care about you as people, as human beings who have touched my life but I dont care to participate in blogging as a social community anymore. I honestly feel that everyone on my blog roll (and more) has something of value to say and they all have something to teach me but it takes time to read and comment and these days I want to spend that time on other areas of my life. It is as simple as that.
I have no idea if any of you care in the least whether or not I read your blog or comment... I wouldnt presume you care about this blog or me either. But there are people here in bloggerdome who have touched my life and I feel I owe them at least some explanation for my absence.
Yesterday I was listening to an interview of a really successful country music artist on the radio. He said that no matter if you have success in the pursuit of your passion (or not) you're level of passion for in his case, country music should be the same. No matter if you are selling out stadiums or singing on a street corner, your passion for the art should always be what motivates you and it shouldn't rise or fall with your success.
I want to live my life pursuing the things I am passionate about without every tainting the joy I get from those passions with the disappointment or hype of faltering or towering success and without compromising my expression of that passion to meet the expectations of those around me.
Wow! That's a mouthful!
So this blog is going to change. Change title, topic, and format. I wont start anew because what I've said in the past is still relevant to me. I am still horse crazed. I am still going to be writing about Abby, Hawkydog, life, love and hunky men (sorry DB). But I am probably going to swear (a lot) more (sorry Mom) and I might talk about sex (sorry Mom). And some posts will be long and rambling (like this one.) And probably not entertaining (like this one) but at least I'll enjoy writing my blog again.
Thanks to everyone to has every offered their thoughts and support to Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind over the past two years. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me (and trust me, it's more than you'll ever know.) But I'm ready for a change.
Adventures of a Horse Crazed Mind's new name is...
Ok... so I dont have a new name yet *sheepish smile*
But I'm working on it.