Saturday, July 31, 2010

I am the James Bond of the horse world!

(Pictures from this weekend's rodeo. Above: Little Britches Rodeo Mini Bull Rider)
FYI, If there were a CIA for decrypting horse ads and seller replies I'd totally be a secret agent. I'm just going to go ahead and say it like it is... put all humility aside and tell you frank....

I am James freakin' Bond of the horse world... oh yah!... only minus the suit... and the hunkiness.... Oh! Maybe I could be one of those skinny lingerie wearing secret double agents !... Only the plus size Spanx wearing version. *guileless blank stare*


No seriously though. I think I am going to write a book on how to decrypt horse seller jargon. It really is an art. And I'm not talking about the obvious ones either. Everyone knows that "gaming prospect" should be read as "hotter than hell" and "green broke" really means that Rocky is frequently used as late night entertainment by a seriously drunken Cousin Billy doing his best impression of a rodeo bronc rider.... or better yet, "was really good while been ridden around the field bareback with a halter and a lead rope by my four year old daughter!"... and by now most horsemen should know that ALL grade horses remain forever 12 years old.... even the ones so obviously ancient that my friend Nancy would see fit to remark (as she did once before) "Twelve years old my ass! Jesus rode that horse!"

To be continued.

2 comments:

  1. Oh this post was sooo bad....but so darn funny!


    ~Lisa

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  2. Jesus rode this horse...my favorite line!

    ReplyDelete