Tuesday, March 10, 2009

*sniffle*


I would like to call the following photo series, "Moon Rising over Kitchen Sink"...

Seriously.

Or not.
(I actually took these photos over a 7 minute time period. While standing over my kitchen sink... or in front of my kitchen sink. Like, I wasn't standing on the counter top or anything.)
If you scroll down really fast and you can watch the moon rise!!! Which in my moderately stoned mind (on cold medication) is like totally groovy, man!


It is really cold outside but there is not a cloud in the sky. The sun is shining. It is 6:45pm (or was when I started this post) and still light out! There is a cute little bay gelding named AJ sitting in a field out there... just waiting to be ridden. A beautiful blue dog laying at my feet... just dying to go for a walkabout. And I am stuck inside....miserable. Sad. Lonely. Dejected. My nose is... well, dripping. My bones ache. My head hurts. Did anyone bring some cake to my little pity party? Oh dear, that was nice of you... please do hand me over a slice, will ya? Oh, and please do be sure to give me one with a a nice big rose shaped dollop of oil whipped icing on top? If you may. Thank you.


You know, inside of my is a thin beautiful woman just screaming to be let out.... but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies. Cheers!

Why yes, I am on some cold medicine. Why do you ask?

Oh, I'm talking to myself again? Well, there is hardly anyone else out'n'about for me to talk to, now is there? Where was I?


Ah yes, I was going to do a post about how I want a horse. But then I remembered that I actually technically DO own a horse- My mare Abby. But then, she doesn't really "count" because I put her out on a breeding lease for nearly two years... after paying for Kari to train her for a year...Which sounded like a great idea...

But then I went out and paid to lease a horse (not Abby) .... which sounds a little nonsensical... when you think about it... but I had good reasons...I cant remember what they were just now, but I am positive that they were very logical and prudent...


but then I went ahead and leased AJ...

Which doesnt make sense, when ya think about. I have to respect the wishes of his owners and cant do what it is I want to do with him.


Which is why I think it'd be great to own my horse, so that I can do whatever I want with her. And I would benefit from the time and effort I invest in her. And I could determine who, what, when and where she is ridden. And what is or is not in her best interest. And I will control the universe within which she resides!!!


But then I remember... Ah, yes... that's right! I ALREADY own a horse. A horse that is SO well trained that I was worried about bringing her home and screwing her up! And I planned on taking lessons the whole time she was gone so that I could be a suppa-star reiner by the time she came back to me. But I haven't taken a lesson... or ridden (except for once)... since NOVEMBER... I think... I really cant remember!! Because LIFE happened in between. My horsey bankroller found other commitments... other money sucking vampires to leach his account dry... things like money making business ventures...investments... and other totally responsible, boring old enterprises like that...


AND, more importantly.... I needed to focus on NON-HORSEY things! Like school. And art. And writing. Building a future. A career. Travelling the world. Figuring out the secret to life. And other such bullshit.


All of which I fully intend on doing in the very near future... if only I could stop thinking about riding, breeding, selling, buying, training, and generally lusting over horses all night and day long.

I need therapy. Oh yah! Horses were my therapy. And oddly, my drug of choice.

Well... besides Tylenol Cold and Flu....

Have I made a total ass of myself yet? I have! Great! My job here is done! Goodnight!

10 comments:

  1. So what IS the secret of life, Chelsi?

    Let me know, will ya?

    I think the secret is to try to be happy at all costs. Life is short. If horses make you happy, then you must follow that path, my friend. You must.

    Simple as that.

    Your moon-rising-over-the-kitchen-sink photos are da bomb! What a lovely view you have from your kitchen sink.

    Sending you well wishes and a huge slice of chocolate cake with thick whipped cream frosting on top! :)

    Feel better.
    ~Lisa

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  2. There you go talkin' about cake again! I'm getting hungry... but it's bed time so I WONT go grab that cheese cake from the fridge I WONT!

    Isn't it completaly frusterating when we become at odds with ourselves as to where to go and what to do and what to focus on first? It's a dailey battle. Sometimes I wonder why someone can't just make up my mind FOR me. At least that would eliminate the thinking part.... I hope whatever your ventures may be that they make you happy and enjoy life. 'cause if your not enjoying it, it just ain't worth it. Dont you hate it when we enjoy EVERYTHING we think we want to do? oi... talking about making things MORE difficult.... Sorry. Im rambling. Off to bed i go...

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  3. Wonderful moonrise series!!! Just think, everyone who read this is is looking at the same moon!!!

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  4. Yes it was amazing last night wasn't it? It was also amazingly cold at my place - a record low for March -12F nice huh? Very crisp out this morning.

    What you need a nice broke horse to get your confidence back on - is what you need. Not another horse to stick into training and not ride. Sigh....

    Can you change your mind on the lease? Not saying the horse isn't worth it - just thinking how nice it would be to see you up riding something that didn't scare/concern you. Something that had NOTHING to change, maybe need reminders but that's it.

    Surely there is some sweet old senior horse out there that needs someone to love on him and to pack around for a few more years....

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  5. That was rather bossy of me - sorry. I just worry that's all....

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  6. I agree with Steph and will be looking for the type of horse she suggests here in the next few months. (Casey has issues and needs to stay in training indefinitely at this point, but I already blogged about that).

    I believe that pony therapy is vital for the well being of horse girls. I was not as happy during the years away from horses. However, sometimes stupid people, by that I mean other people, can limit it's effectiveness.

    So, the question is, can you be happy with AJ or are your hands too tied by his owners? Are they stifling you? Is AJ good for YOU too?

    As a former dog trainer, it's hard for me to watch people out in public do things with their dogs that aren't in the dog's best interest. Anything from simple voice tones to complex communication issues. But, it's still THEIR dog and THEIR decisions and I have to respect that.

    So, if his owners don't really want any training put into AJ, is it really worth the stress and headache to you? Is there a middle ground you can be happy with?

    If you can't find that happiness with AJ, maybe Steph's suggestion should be put into consideration?

    Just food for thought.

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  7. Hunny! Pass the cake! I hear ya. Just remember- Life is what happens to ya while your waiting for life to happen to ya! ( If your'e still on Cold Meds, that will make total sense to you!)
    I write, I am a fantastic Mom, I am a horsewoman, I am an artist. I went to school, had loads of jobs and mentored others the whole time. I never, not once ever thought about giving up any part of my horse life. It is the thing that keeps me motivated, grounded, happy and healthy. Bring your mare home! Forget about screwing her up! She's yours! Ride her! Love her! You'll be so happy that you did!

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  8. You crack me up! ;) You are just a horse crazy girl at heart....
    I leased My Boy for several months then decided I wanted him. It felt different, leasing versus owning. I was actually more confident when I leased him. Maybe because I felt like he wasn't mine, if he had issues, they weren't really MY issues. But once I owned him, anything that came to be, well, was probably my fault (in terms of training.)
    I think the new stallion your mare is being bred to is beautiful. And I think until she returns, you might just enjoy working with a horse like AJ. It seems to be a nice middle ground to the full responsibility of owning a horse.

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  9. Leasing was frustrating for me because of what you mentioned. Still, horse time is horse time. there's lots of training you can do on the trail, lots of things just in leading.

    I brought ice cream to the party. And just a tiny bit of tequila.

    Puts the party in pity party. :)

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  10. Okay Chelsi...STEP AWAY FROM THAT CAKE!!!! LOL!!! (That was the therapist in me speaking. Or maybe it was my inner skinny bitch yelling at yours...lol!!!)

    I am right there with ya' on taking a green horse out on the trails. I will have to share my experience with that (from last summer)...not good!!!

    Now...get better, pull yourself up by your bootstrings, run over to your local community college or university, and sign yourself up for that cultural antropology course!!!! You will love it...I promise!!! :)

    All joking aside, I hope that you feel better soon (and sign up for that class!!!) :)

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